Soula Just picked up Boula from his workplace. Driving in Saudi’s three lane highway at 120 km/h towards Boula’s company accommodation, discreetly we hold our hands while catching-up with what’s new. A car passes by; we instantly separate our hands fearing someone would notice.

What happens behind the locked doors, the blinded windows and in the dark rooms is what we make sure does not happen in open areas, in the public, and under the light. Being Cautious, alert at all times is necessary for a gay couple to survive in Saudi. No margin for errors or being spontaneous, we make sure we do not drag ourselves to any unwanted situation.

Being discreet is not enough, as a Saudi-Lebanese couple, and even worse, Muslim-Christian couple does not make it easier for us. In the eye of the people that surrounds us, there is no simple logical reason for us to be just “Close Friends”. We do raise a red flag in their minds, and we are in their suspicious spotlight; it would be naïve if we did not think so. We do get some unusual questions, and we did prepare ourselves with bogus answers that make sense, but we always get allusions from time to time.

Nothing we do or say is enough to keep us in the safe zone. Each day we live it dodging threatening bullets either coming from our family and friends or strangers. We realized that it’s not long when everyone would know what is really going on between us. Time is running and we are afraid it will run out soon.

We have to take an action and seek haven where no one can hurt us, judge us and persecute us. A place where we can live together in dignity and pride, and fear and danger doesn’t exist. Asylum must be our solution, and Refugee must be our claim…